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this is my final blog. in this entry, i will focus on relating my project’s relevance to ecofeminism while also discussing what i have learned.
in relating to ecofeminism, my project helped me to understand a lot regarding privilege. even though a person might regard meditating as a simple thing to do, requiring little effort, time, or money, i found that i considered myself to be in an extremely privileged position to be able to do it. in learning about ecofeminism in class, we read “Ecofeminist Philosophy” by karen warren. she says on page 43, the following:
“Five basic claims characterize the version of ecofeminist philosophy I am defending in this book: (1) there are important interconnections among the unjustified dominations of women, other human Others, and nonhuman nature; (2) understanding the nature of these interconnections is important to an adequate understanding of and solutions to these unjustified dominations; (3) feminist philosophy should include ecofeminist insights into women-other human Others-nature interconnections; (4) solutions to gender issues should include ecofeminist insights into women-other human Others-nature connections; and, (5) solutions to environmental problems should include ecofeminist insights into women-other human Others-nature interconnections.”
i felt that all these claims applied to my project and what i took from it. recognizing the privilege in my ability to be able to meditate–to be able to fit this project into my schedule with relatively little to no problem, to have a small enough family that i am not oversaturated with responsibilities, to have the effort and motivation left at the end of the day to sit and meditate, to have a car so that i could get to the locations i chose, to have daycare for my son, the ability to attend a university where i am able to take a class where i learn about cool shit like ecofeminism, to taking pictures of the places that i went…the list was endless as to the privilege i felt i was afforded in this project. i found myself thinking about this time and time again…how privileged i am.
this insight helped me to gain more of an understanding regarding the interconnectedness of human lives and the earth. there seems to be a balance to the world (uh-oh, here comes the hippie talk – just hear me out) and i can’t help but to think that if i am this privileged, it is only because there are people and an earth that are severely exploited. and i believe that it is evident. on a macro level, we have learned in class how much of the world’s resources the global north consumes. on a micro level, we have learned how poor people in different neighborhoods throughout cities and towns in the united states are stuck with the burden of being of a dumping ground and contamination site in order for rich folk to live the clean, healthy lives that they do.
i understand more clearly how privilege and exploitation go hand, one does not exist without the other and they go hand-in-hand. this has also helped to clarify my understanding of the holistic view of the world.
My final outdoor meditation session was at Rocky Ford Rock Quarry. I have to say that this was my absolute fave place to meditate. The rock quarry is located off of Barnes Road in between Manhattan and Tuttle Creek Lake. When you drive up, there is a place to park your car and you must then walk to where the water is located (I’m not a geologist by any means, so my description of the area will lack any sort of “proper” terminology). The area is a wide creek (or small river) with rock bars (as opposed to sand bars). The rock bars are large enough that you can walk out a considerable ways and you can also sit or whatever. There are alot of fisher-people that come out here as well to go fishing.
When I got there, I walked around a bit. All my life, I have always liked “nature adventures” and anytime I am presented with the opportunity to explore in nature, I take it. So after checking out the scene, I decided on a spot that would suit me and began my meditating. Now, there is alot of noise in the rock quarry–there is running water. It is precisely this reason that this was my favorite place to meditate. The sound of the running water made it a whole lot easier to focus for me. Instead of battling with the silence and the constant infiltration of thoughts into my psyche, the sound of the water running and crashing over the rocks flooded all this out. I really felt like this made my meditation effortless. It did not take long for me to get into my groove, and the most remarkable thing was the length of time that I was there. It did not seem as though I was there very long at all. I figured that my “nature adventure” and finding a spot to meditate lasted about 20 minutes, altogether. When I went back to my car, I realized that I had been out there for a little over an hour and a half! According to my calculations, that means that I was out there meditating for at least an hour. I had to double check my times and phone records to make sure that I had actually started at the time that I thought, and after double-checking, I realized that my times were right.
It was this “meditation time warp” that made me think of how privileged I am to have the ability to lose track of time this way–that my schedule is flexible enough to allow me to absorb this with little to no repercussion. I am sure that if I had to work at a typical, 9-to-5 job in order to support myself and my son, my schedule would be a lot more restricting. I also felt privileged to be able to access area with its running water. There were no fences for me to jump, no rules or laws that I had to break–the area was there for my enjoyment and use. This made me think of people that live along the coastal areas in South America who rely on the ocean for their livelihood. There have been businesses who have into these coastal regions, bought up the coast from local peoples using trickery and deceit, and will not let the local people access the coastal waters anymore. In most areas, they have put up fencing to keep locals out of the areas.
Just as chanting helps me to stay focused while meditating, the sound of the running water acted as a sort of “chanting” (nature’s chanting) to help me keep thoughts from entering into my mind and taking over. The sound also had an amazingly calm effect on me. I left the quarry feeling really fresh and renewed–kinda how you feel when you have just taken a shower after a few days of not being able to (I’m thinking of the times that I have gone camping). I am sure that I will return here to hang-out and meditate again.
For this particular blog, I wanted to do something different. My daycare provider went on vacation this weekend leaving me with no daycare last Friday and this Monday. I figured that I would take advantage of this opportunity and take my son, Severin (he’s 3 years old), with me on a meditation out-ing. We went on Monday because the weather was absolutely beautiful. I took him out to the lake and we went to Red Bridge. In case you haven’t been there, Red Bridge is a bridge that takes you to an open clearing in the middle of a ring of trees with a little sitting area off to the side. It’s technically the Tuttle Lake area. I wanted to share my experience with Sevi.
So, we went out and sat in the middle of the clearing. He sat with me, with his legs crossed. I encouraged him to shut his eyes while focusing on his other senses. Because he’s only 3, it was kinda hard to ask him to focus on his senses other than sight. I asked him questions like “what do you hear; what do you feel; what do you smell?” The most awesome answer that he gave was when I asked him what he heard. He said, “The grass says its thirsty. It wants me to give it water.” So I let him pour some of our drinking water on the grass. Afterwards, I asked him what he thought about ‘meditating.’ He said that he liked sitting in the soft grass and that it made him feel good. Yes, he really is that awesome.
Otherwise, my meditating is still going good. It’s getting easier and easier to stay focused. I’m really glad that I chose this for my ‘Lived Experience.’ Like I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I really look forward to the time that I get to spend with myself. I think that it’s also helping me sleep better. Before meditating I sometimes had some trouble sleeping–waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep or just trouble going to sleep in general. I woke up this morning at 4 a.m., but for the past two weeks I have pretty much had untroubled sleep. I think that the act of meditating helps me to be relaxed, mentally and physically, before I actually hit-the-hay.
Having Severin with me this particular trip helped me to realize how privileged I am by having daycare. This allows me to be able to dedicate time every week to meditating out in nature. I know that if I had him with me on a regular basis, I would not be able to dedicate myself wholly to meditating. I would be concerned about him and chasing him around and I wouldn’t be able to close my eyes. My attention would be solely concentrated on him and his well-being. I really enjoyed having him with me this week. Although it wasn’t the “full meditating experience,” it was still great to share this part of my life with someone that I really admire. Also, I most certainly want him to grow up with his own understanding of nature and an appreciation for it.
to start this entry, i want to take a minute to respond to some of the comments that have been made. i do try to meditate daily. i’ve been doing really good about this. i actually missed a couple of days in the past 2 weeks just from simply forgetting – accident! these were early on and i’m finding that i’m starting to look forward to my alone time at the end of the day. i really prefer to be outside when doing anything. when it comes to meditating, i love the wind and sun on my skin. i’m a huge fan of being outside – especially when it’s not so close to “civilization.” while meditating in either my home or out in nature is rejuvenating, i’m finding that when i’m in nature, i feel way more energized afterwards. it could also have something to do with the time of day. at home i meditate before bed, but when i’m out and about, it’s in the middle of the day which gives me a chance to revel in my good feeling.
so when i meditate, initially, i do have to concentrate on my breath. as i mentioned earlier, i think that my breathing has always been jacked up. sometimes, throughout the day, i catch myself holding my breath for no reason. anyway, i concentrate on taking really deep breaths and letting them out slowly while repeating a word in my head. my particular word is ‘one.’ this chanting also helps to keep me focused. i haven’t noticed anything significant as far as bodily/mental changes. i just feel really good after being out in the grass and sun after meditating. but i think that this feeling can also come from just being in nature and not meditating. i don’t time my meditations because i know that i would be worried about not going over my time allotment. instead, i just do it. my sessions have been as short as 8 minutes and as long as 26. they were shorter in the beginning because i was having a hard time, but my sessions are getting longer as it gets easier to “unfocus” from the craziness around me.
alright, now to update you on my progress this week. the meditating is getting easier! i went out to the konza prairies this week. it’s a far drive, but because having a car is a privilege and i live in the land of privilege, i was able to make it out there. if you have never been out to the prairies, you MUST go. it’s one of my most fave things (probably the ONLY) about this area. i can easily compare any of my experiences out in the konza to being in the mountains. for me, when i’m out there, i just know that there is way more to life than what i can comprehend. so i walked on the kings creek loop – it’s about 4.5 miles and about halfway through, i just veered off the trail a few feet and sat in the grass to meditate (i don’t think that you are supposed to veer off the trail, by the way). as with my experience out at cedar creek cemetery, the sun and wind felt really good. there was nothing that any of my senses detected as being a man-made sound; no cars, no voices, no music, etc. i didn’t keep time while meditating, so i have no exact idea how long i was out there. my guess, once doing the math in my car, was that i had sat and meditated for about 40 minutes. that is, by far, the longest that i have been able to hold my concentration that long. when i was done, i felt really good and revived. i’m not sure, but i’m willing to put money on the idea that i may be solar powered. i felt like i had more energy and that my mind was not so muddled with thoughts for the rest of the day. while i think that meditating in my home is great for me, i really don’t think any of my home meditating experiences have compared to what i have experienced when outdoors.
i’m including a few links that i found interesting. this one is a quick read on the benefits of meditating and how one can go about getting started.
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/4-reasons-you-should-meditate-and-how-to-get-started/
this particular article is the same site as the first and just builds off the benefits of meditating and goes into them into more detail. this line is my fave: “Meditation, however, shows us that we can gain a greater understanding of life through knowing who we are. In meditation we gain a new perspective of life…” while i’m still a gumshoe at meditating, i know that one of the things that i like the most about it thus far is the alone time that i get. i’ve never taken time out for myself where i did not have some sort of expectation to meet—whether to read, have a fun time, or whatever. this alone time is unique because i feel like i’m not going in with any expectations.
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-physical-and-mental-benefits-of-daily-meditation/
and this is the website for the konza prairies where you can get information on their hiking trails, rules, location, yada yada. they’ve got some really awesome pictures up—something you should check out.
http://www.k-state.edu/konza/index.html
and then there’s this video that i believe is an ad for a film, but it’s still pretty cool.
until next time…
so i’ve been meditating now for a little over a week. getting into the groove is hard work! my mind tends to wander unconsciously and i think that has made it hard for me to get used to the idea of not thinking about anything or to just let those ideas pass without giving them attention. as i do it more though, it does get easier and easier each time. initially, i had a hard time sitting still and found myself getting restless. but even the restlessness is subsiding as i meditate each day. also, last week i went out to my first nature location. this particular time i went to the cedar creek cemetery. the weather was absolutely beautiful that day and my experience meditating was really good. i close my eyes when i meditate in order to keep my from being distracted and i have to say that my hearing was overloaded with sounds. many birds singing, the wind in the trees and in my ears, and a few moo’s from some close cows. one thing that i noticed was how i was able to focus on my senses (other than sight) and it made me think about how overloaded our senses are everyday. i can imagine that this overloading of senses can also lead to the frantic feelings of most days. i really think that i’m getting this down and that i’m benefiting from it. i have had to switch the time of the day that i meditate. instead of the mornings, i am now meditating at nights. i just found that trying to do it in the morning was not working for me. it was extremely hard to not think about the million things that i wanted to get done in the day. by moving it to the end of the day, i just have to accept the fact that i have done all that i can do that day and that there is no use in dwelling on the things that didn’t get done. i think that it was a good decision. and to wrap it up while providing you with a bit too much information, i have noticed that when i meditate, i usually have to take a bathroom break to drop a deuce. i think that this is a good sign!! it’s letting me know that my body is relaxed! see ya next week!
with my initial introduction to my lived experience project, i neglected to include a blurb on how this particular project relates specifically to ecofeminism. although i am new to the concept of ecofeminism, i believe that my project relates because it will be through meditation that i hope to become more aware of my spirituality. meditation is a centuries old practice rooted in traditional and ancient eastern religions such as buddhism, hinduism, and taoism. meditation has been deemed as a mental discipline where one can experience nonduality.
although there is the idea, in ecofeminst thought, of nature being all encompassing, in every space of the world and at all times; i believe that our culture has done a tremendously great job in creating the illusion of there being no human connection to nature. in order to dominate and exploit nature, we must be as far removed from it as possible to consider it as not part of our essential being. through meditating daily, i hope to quiet my mind to the continuous and unending distractions and tasks that prohibit me from fully realizing this. and through my weekly nature meditation, i hope to strengthen my spiritual relation to nature.
what up ya’ll?? this is my first blog post for my lived experience project. for my project, i will be doing the ‘walking your talk’ and i am going to meditate in nature. “why meditation?” well, i wanted to do something that would be beneficial for my lifestyle. i feel like i live a hectic life – there’s always something that needs to be done!! whether it’s chores, homework, work, or whatever…there is a never-ending cycle of tasks to accomplish! so i decided to do something that i felt would benefit myself – take a little time out of the day to…just be.
i will be meditating daily, though not always in nature. i will be going out to select nature locations one to two times a week and i will be focusing on these experiences in particular when posting here. i will be focusing on my daily attitude and feeling and the changes that occur – my general outlook, my level of stress, the way i sleep, and my overall health. and i will also begin my meditation sessions first thing. i think this will prevent daily tasks from accumulating before i find the time and start making excuses about why i cannnot meditate.
my nature locations will include the following: the lovely konza prairies, the rocky ford rock quarry, the cedar creek cemetary (also known as ‘witch’s burial’ which dates as early as the mid-1800’s), and a 350-acre plot of land that some friends of mine own (also a rock quarry).
for my meditation style, i don’t want to get too crazy so i’m sticking with something basic. i am just going to sit while focusing on my breathing while repeating one word. i’m sure that, initially, my project will take some getting used to, but i am determined to stick with it. hopefully, i will have some really good things to share with ya’ll. peas out!
Gender, Environment & Justice 