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…
ahem.
Hey, world. It’s been awhile.
I’ve spent the last few months considering how my relationship with you, and now it’s time for me to say goodbye for good. I must face the inevitable: I am the destroyer.
No matter what I do, or don’t, I won’t ever be treating you justly. Unless, that is, I use only what you give me. But I continue taking.
Every time I purchase material that has been violently extracted from the earth, I give my affirmation to the practices used to bring me that which I desire. Why must money be so important? It is a privilege, something I have been advantaged by, and rarely worked to achieve. Did I deserve this? World, did you deserve this? I can only conclude… no.
My effort to reduce overconsumption ended at my own doings. I failed to encourage the public, political, and local spheres to make changes in the same regard. Although my utility bills may be lower, my body smellier, my clothes dirtier, and my car less driven, I feel I’ve broken no barriers into a truly sustainable life. Until I am living off the land alone, I cannot claim any success.
Another consideration that I cannot avoid is the community around me. Supporting the “man” means I’m approving violences globally. Buying local means the environment is spared some of the excess violences against it. Yet both decisions to spend money provide capital to the businesses that employ my friends, loved ones, and fellow community members, and thus provides them their livelihood. Unless I’m working toward some alternative, earth focused method of living, my efforts will be for little gain.
Oh well.
It’s true, beloved readers, that long weeks have passed since I last graced Blogger with my “ecopinions”. Spring break is entering its death throes, and although I didn’t spend it en la playa chugging muchas cervezas whilst ogling las chicas borrachas in hopes that their mannequinesqe figures will provide some sort of lasting satisfaction if only we performed intoxicated sexual intercourse, I did manage to fufill a few promises I made to myself.
“How,” you ask?
By giving up!
In the fortnight past, I reduced my alcohol intake to an almost negligible amount, eliminated impulse purchases and useless food, and completely left cigarrettes behind (speaking of which, buying Natural American Spirit – a favorite of the anti-corporate crowd – pays the Man at R.J. Reynolds). Meeting these goals removes some of the barriers seperating me from my partner, Earth.
In an ongoing effort to reduce overconsuption, I emphasize the importance of priviliege in the human equation, which indeed is influencing the envrionment. This entry, I turn the lens of spirituality on these issues in an attempt to debunk the implied existential value of
consumption.
what is the self?
To begin, let’s examine what self is. It’s important, so bear with me!
Most people, at least westerners, see their bodies as being a part of their selves. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe a positivist would stop at that, considering the brain is itself a part of the body. Besides strictly scientific views, a number of popular metaphysical terms exist to further explain the self: soul, mind, spirit, heart. However, I’d like to frame the self in a cosmic, or outside-in, perspective. The individual is the material and the immaterial experience and/or experiencer within that material. By these parameters, life beyond humans contains self, too. Got it? Perfect!
Now I’d love to go on and on about how and why overconsumption is broadcast as a pleasurable and satisfying end, but this is specifically geared toward the experience, and what it means for the self.
The outward display of our inner self for the purpose of social orientation is called one’s image. Thus, a projected image isn’t really a reflection of our true being — so if the things we buy generally end up feeding our image rather than feeding our selves, we aren’t really experiencing satisfaction. A buzzword tossed around for a wee bit over a century to describe this is “conspicuous consumption”. Although it specifically speaks towards ostentatious, class related spending, I venture to guess that any visible consumption is conspicuous; consumer choices can be categorized, made into an identity. Even lower-class, traditionally marginalized demographics purchase or possess things that convey an image in place of self. Perhaps consumption, in the image sense, isn’t necessary.
But then:
What must we consume? I pause before answering to preface that consume implies a producer and monetary involvement somewhere in the picture. So, in answering, I say consumption is not necessary. BUT, we must eat, drink water, sleep, evacuate waste, and regulate our temperature to keep on havin’ a self! I confess, in today’s situation you must consume these things to survive unless you can live radically self-sufficient (which often violates standing laws!). Yet, even the most essential things have easily recognizable brand names.
My greatest pleasures lie not in times when I spent money, but I enjoyed what I had in that moment. I say the richest wealth one may achieve is through consuming as little as possible, yet have health to experience as much as possible simultaneously. The most wholesome elements for my-self, my spirit, are free. It’s just the food system thing that bothers me now.
Last week, I wrote a confession to the Earth detailing the way I exploit our relationship on a regular basis. Although I’m positive that I included the focus of my project within the first post, I wish to reiterate my thesis. I am engaging the category of “What One Person Can Do”, more specifically in regards to confronting overconsumption from a ground-up perspective. So what better way to start off the experiment with a good, hard look at myself?
As a primer on the way I utilize my physical space, I invite you to watch this video. As it does not cover every aspect of my resource use, I also will give some basic figures about my personal habits.
- I drive my car (2001 Pontiac Grand Am) an average of 10-30 minutes a week
- I shower once or twice a week, for about 10 minutes
- I flush the toilet every time I poop, once or twice daily; rarely do I flush for pee-pee
- I VERY seldom wash dishes (thanks, roomies), and machine wash my clothes once or twice a month
- I consume food that creates waste byproducts or packaging almost daily
- I eat meat 3 or 4 times a week
- I smoke cigarettes, usually 3-5 daily
- I use electronic equipment and light producing electronics tied to the grid about 30 hours a week. Most of the energy I consume is used in conjunction with my computer
- I purchase and consume certain beverages in hard-to-recycle materials about every other day
- I impulse spend on a product that will become waste about once a week
After some thinking about my personal (over)consumption, its clear I’m doing some things right… but not nearly everything. Therefore, I pledge to make three major adjustments:
Ween myself from cigarette and alcohol use that has an adverse effect on the environment;
Limit my purchases, to the best and most practical of my abilities, to whole foods only (thus I am buying nothing but my sustenance)
Ween myself from meat products as they are detrimental to the environment
I am relieved to think that because of my current habits, adjusting to my new goals shaln’t be too difficult. But we will see, now won’t we?
The experiment is now officially under way…!
HELLO WORLD!
I wanted to admit something to you, actually. This is kind of hard for me to say, but if I don’t tell you now, someone else will. I mean, I kinda made it obvious to everyone I know. Britney Spears once said, “Don’t Let Me Be the Last to Know”, and I can understand what she means. It hurts. Sorry for beating around the bush, World, but it’s hard for me too, like I said.
…
I’ve been using you.
I’ve just been taking and taking and taking, and you’ve never asked for anything in return. In fact, you’ve only silently submitted as I do what I wish to you day after day. Sometimes, I feel like I’m violating you… but I strangely don’t feel much guilt, unless I think about it in a more global perspective. Like, I’ve basically shit on you. Actually, I HAVE shit on you. But you liked that, I thought. What really must hurt, though, is when I take what you never offered me, and give back nothing that you need; in reality, what I do put back has made you less beautiful. I’ve poisoned you. I’m sorry. I want to change my behaviors. But, like everybody to some extent, I’m stuck in my ways and don’t feel comfortable with sudden adjustments.
So, World, I’ve decided to take the next several weeks to dedicate myself to renewing our relationship, maybe bringing to a close some of my bad habits which have made this relationship so one-sided. Through a series of personal, political, and social lenses, I will examine and enact changes which might restore a sense of balance between us and affect how others see our relationship, maybe causing them to treat you better, too! The frivolous overconsumption of the things we take from you, which is enacted by all of us, is simply not healthy for anyone.
Remember the good times, when we would sit silently for hours together with the sun drenching both our faces? When I slept, cradled by your massive arms, under the pristine night skies? When I waded deep within your waters, without a care in the world? I want to share those with you again and again, for as long as I can. That might be selfish, but its not just for me. I want to stop hurting you. I am your destroyer, but over these next few weeks perhaps I prepare to become your partner. Hopefully, we’ll both be better off in the end.
